toprank -OR-bepranked ?

i must be pranking MYSELF. 

or i cud be just plain stupid.

i kinda knew from the start that it was a bad idea to even start liking him. like seriously, to even consider a relationship with him is exactly like asking my dad to think of becoming a world renown rockstar. He might just give me the do-u-think-i-m-stupid look and carry on with watever he was previously doing. 

now, i've done the one thing i told myself to not do. 

prepare to scream/shout/slap me awake to reality.... i said "yeah, let's do this"

i said that to his suggestion : let's prank Ralph and everyone else.
lets say we're a couple.

i really like him. dangit. deep shyt i've dug myself into.
but i was blinded by the unbiased hatred i had for Ralph. and the fact that i really do like this guy... :/


:/ right now i'm having a hard time deciding what he does/say is real/fake. sometimes i'd smile my genuinely-giddy-with-glee smile when he says something sweet or awwww-worthy.  

but then when the lil voice in my head 
reminds me of reality, i cant help but just give a 'blah...so wasted!'