Thursday, January 13, 2011

you think you pretty meh?

  If you're extremely perasan, fat, ugly, lala, ah beng, vain, or just plain stupid, please STOP right here! Cant guarantee you're as sporting and humorous as the rest of us pretty people. 

 SAY THIS OUT LOUD  "I'm so darn pretty, i make Kim Kardashian and Gisele Bundchen sick with jealousy every morning they wake up!" -or- "I'm so darn beautiful, i make single men cry (due to rejection) and men with girlfriends facepalm themselves (for hooking up with the wrong girl)"  AND I PRAY U DON'T GET LAUGHED AT/THROWN INTO THE POND/SENT FOR COUNSELING.

There’s no denying it.
Beauty is simply what is deemed pleasant to the eyes. 
All you need is a smashing outfit to make you feel beautiful, 
professional-like make up skills to make you look like a model for L'oreal, 
and of course, if you're thaaaaat lucky to be 
given drop-dead gorgeous genes from ur handsome dad and classy mom. 

 Think i'm not right? I asked the male species and with dirty little smiles, most of them would say Megan Fox and Jessica Alba.  SEE! smashing outfit, pro make up,and goddess-worthy genes! 

But then again, how would you define a real 'pretty woman?
 I sure hope you didn't say S-K-I-N-N-Y or T-H-I-N!  
Because of males like you, women today are always pressured to be thinner regardless how thin they already are! Well, okay... the girls are also partially to blame to be so stupid to not know the limits, turn bulimic or anorexic!  :/

i mean, seriously girls!
do you really need to show off your ribcage and hipbones?
Cheh! i also got la!  
you know what you don't have? 
butts and boobies. 

If ur a gurl with no butts nor boobies, please don't talk to me. 
i dun like seeing a walking chopstick 
or interacting with a drug-user lookalike. 
heck! i might even b blamed for bullying her if she hurt herself by tripping!

BUT GOOD GAWD! let's not fight! 
Here are my fav tips to all the young girls out there!          

think of how ur boyfriend/husband feel when they see THAT FACE, make the effort to look a lil bit prettier even when without make-up!

make sure u don't drool in a bus or a train, ladies! or else, ur bf just might blackmail u on FB!

keep your make-up at a decent level! don't be mistaken as a prostitute/pimp!

make sure you look good at all times! including when having meals!


if you cant fit into your old clothes, get new ones. we don't wanna know the brand and size of your bra.

Just cuz the trend now is to go green and recycle everything, you don't have to look like miss-wtf-r-u-wearing right here!

 if you've made it here, congrats!
I'm sure I've at least made u smile, 
and you should start thanking God that he gave u brains, health and some style :D 

or u'd be screaming at me  
"but i look gud wit 12-inch thick make up!" 
"she looks hot with that 9-sizes-too-small-for-her-boobies shirt!"
"eh! u dun insult my overplucked eyebrows and pimply face ah!" 

hahahaha! just for laughs, pretty people!
smile! XD

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Beauty with NO brains! = Suria Sabah Event

 To start off my year in 2011was
 the Mister and Miss Suria Sabah model search.
Sad to say,  i was sorely disappointed.  For those of you who missed it, GOOD FOR YOU! 

i was reeeeeeeeally looking forward to this event 
which was, to me, supposed to be big and exciting. 

Sadly... the crowd was small and pathetically unenthusiastic,
the sound system was an absolute failure,
the emcee was just a pretty face who reads from a piece of paper (get a job as a newsreader la!)
the venue wasn't properly decorated 
and to top it off, the programs were obviously not well planned,
the entertainment were to say the least, amateurish. 

lemme be frank. 
one of my new year resolutions is = imma be more straight to the point. here goes. 
the event was a failure.
.full stop.

now into details on why i think it was not an enjoyable or worthwhile event.
u may skip this part if u don't read fast or you cant read English or you wasted 16years of education

the #1 issue....
was definitely the sound system. out of ten words spoken into the microphone, two or more wud go missing. it gets very irritating after a while. even while playing music for the contestants to dance to, there were constant glitches like unresponsive buttons to make the music play or stop. and to top it off was the guy responsible of the sound system, he just looks at the crowd and give a shrug when problems arise. and just looks at his friend on his right.  

RATING  : one(1) star 
for at least being there to look like they're providing the sound system and technician

the #2 issue....
has gotta be the emcee/master of ceremony. I may be with a lot less experience than her due to her age, but i'm sure there were other better emcees the organizers could have chosen to do a more satisfactory job!  i'm not being cocky, but if you were there, you'd agree with me. She was obviously just a pretty face who did not know the full extent of the role as EMCEE/MASTER OF CEREMONY! she was supposed to be filled with infectious enthusiasm so that she would have encouraged the already depressed/bored existing crowd, and if she were any better, draw in a bigger crowd. 

an example
 *emcee walks unto stage,  looking at a piece of paper in hand*  
"Are you excited? Come on! Give them another round of applause."
*the crowd was rather still, looking at each other to respond or not but stays silent while only two or three hollers by the male models*
verdict? PATHETIC

RATING :  two (2) stars. 
She was eye-candy to some of the crowd, no doubt she was not ugly.  But it was apparent that she wasn't prepared with the screw up of activities, and the very monotonous comments here and there that induced some of the crowd to drowsiness or to leave. 

the #3 issue...

i understand the need of some parents to inject self confidence into their children but seriously! if your kids cant sing, please don't give them false hope and make themselves look like a delusional fool in public! 

Whoever named the group of child singers as 'Vocal Freedom' was definitely GLEE inspired, which i do not mind... but, have pity on the children. let them know their limits! 

 These amateurs can't sing like Charice - Pyramids or Jordin Sparks - No Air! 
The crowd was being polite, trying not to laugh when the girls try to sing the high notes but ended up squeaking into the mics that was already cursed.  

the ONLY gud performances was these two lil gurls! Jacintha and Nurul. 
Jacintha who is the winner of the Suria Sabah Singing competition gave us the most wonderful serenade of ''Sayang Kinabalu'' , 
while Nurul was the winner of the Suria Sabah Talent competition entertained the cheering crowd her version of Shakira's WakaWaka dance! 

and the mediocre dance performance by a group of Korean boys - KPM 
i must say, they definitely did a gud job compared to the other group of dancers and singers their age. they were organized and passionate about what they were performing, it shows! Well done!

RATING : three (3) stars
cuz the singers were all kids and i blame the elders/teachers that could have made better song choices for them. Or better yet, not let them embarrass themselves on a public stage UNLESS they reli have talent, like Jacintha/Nurul. 

the #4 issue, the last but the most important!
is the standard of the local modeling/fashion industry.

I'm disgusted to see the Top 5 Finalists of the Ms Suria Sabah model search could not even speak a sentence of F-L-U-E-N-T English. The best of the five finalist, in my opinion, was a pretty girl named Sarah, spoke with an extremely act-cute voice and spoke very hesitantly, one word at a time. 

The other four contestant failed terribly, could not even string ONE miserable sentence together. With the amount of  'uhm...',  'errr', 'hehe' they could have written a short summary. This just shows how shallow and of-no-real-substance! 

 Amber Chia was the head judge, but i think she didn't have the time or heart to bother using her fame to make a change. I've never seen such skinny, dried up finalists in my life. It's as though all the beauty pageant winners or supermodels are made just by starving or go bulimic!  Men were complaining that there wasn't enough boobies or butts! Women were feeling guilty for eating their bread and butter earlier that morning!

Disappointment at the obvious bias-ness of the judges that chose their clubbing kaki as the winner. As well as fortifying my mental image of the local modeling/fashion industry as encouraging the younger generations that looks is all that matters, as long as you fit in the 'Beauty with No brains' category, you'll win

  So to wrap up this post, i felt like i attended a DISASTROUS talent show. 
i COMPLETELY forgot i was actually at a model search event.
in fact, this only made me think that Suria Sabah isn't a high-end mall anymore.
a sad and unsuccessful event to say the least. 
one that made me feel a lot less proud of a Sabahan production.

here's a really good article for guys to read up on 
HOW to date a Beauty with No Brains. 

and for the girls? here's a good one as well! 

-the end- 

Note from the sorely disappointed writer who wasted 4 hours of her life there 
if u've read till here peeps, u either share the same views with one or more of the issues above. -OR- u think i'm too fussy and i'm all wrong. 

comment down below, haters and friends!