Thursday, January 13, 2011

you think you pretty meh?

BE WARNED!   
  If you're extremely perasan, fat, ugly, lala, ah beng, vain, or just plain stupid, please STOP right here! Cant guarantee you're as sporting and humorous as the rest of us pretty people. 

 SAY THIS OUT LOUD  "I'm so darn pretty, i make Kim Kardashian and Gisele Bundchen sick with jealousy every morning they wake up!" -or- "I'm so darn beautiful, i make single men cry (due to rejection) and men with girlfriends facepalm themselves (for hooking up with the wrong girl)"  AND I PRAY U DON'T GET LAUGHED AT/THROWN INTO THE POND/SENT FOR COUNSELING.


There’s no denying it.
Beauty is simply what is deemed pleasant to the eyes. 
All you need is a smashing outfit to make you feel beautiful, 
professional-like make up skills to make you look like a model for L'oreal, 
and of course, if you're thaaaaat lucky to be 
given drop-dead gorgeous genes from ur handsome dad and classy mom. 

 Think i'm not right? I asked the male species and with dirty little smiles, most of them would say Megan Fox and Jessica Alba.  SEE! smashing outfit, pro make up,and goddess-worthy genes! 


But then again, how would you define a real 'pretty woman?
 I sure hope you didn't say S-K-I-N-N-Y or T-H-I-N!  
Because of males like you, women today are always pressured to be thinner regardless how thin they already are! Well, okay... the girls are also partially to blame to be so stupid to not know the limits, turn bulimic or anorexic!  :/

i mean, seriously girls!
do you really need to show off your ribcage and hipbones?
Cheh! i also got la!  
you know what you don't have? 
butts and boobies. 

If ur a gurl with no butts nor boobies, please don't talk to me. 
i dun like seeing a walking chopstick 
or interacting with a drug-user lookalike. 
heck! i might even b blamed for bullying her if she hurt herself by tripping!


BUT GOOD GAWD! let's not fight! 
Here are my fav tips to all the young girls out there!          

think of how ur boyfriend/husband feel when they see THAT FACE, make the effort to look a lil bit prettier even when without make-up!

make sure u don't drool in a bus or a train, ladies! or else, ur bf just might blackmail u on FB!


keep your make-up at a decent level! don't be mistaken as a prostitute/pimp!

make sure you look good at all times! including when having meals!

PLEASE! OMG PLEASE! DO NOT ACT CUTE!

if you cant fit into your old clothes, get new ones. we don't wanna know the brand and size of your bra.

Just cuz the trend now is to go green and recycle everything, you don't have to look like miss-wtf-r-u-wearing right here!

 if you've made it here, congrats!
I'm sure I've at least made u smile, 
and you should start thanking God that he gave u brains, health and some style :D 

or u'd be screaming at me  
"but i look gud wit 12-inch thick make up!" 
"she looks hot with that 9-sizes-too-small-for-her-boobies shirt!"
"eh! u dun insult my overplucked eyebrows and pimply face ah!" 

hahahaha! just for laughs, pretty people!
smile! XD

4 comments:

xiaocass said...

"If ur a gurl with no butts nor boobies, please don't talk to me.
i dun like seeing a walking chopstick"
--- :(( to this :((

curious.charlottefong said...

you've got a reli awesome BUM la please!!! :D perky! heheheh!

大恒 said...

oh shit..it creep me out...char...when i fall in love with a gal...u need 2 help me identify her true color ah...haa..splash water on her..

curious.charlottefong said...

@ herng: no problem!! i'll definitely do that for you!