quiet down, dear mind.

im back in that black hole of loneliness and emotional wreck. of course its not even half as bad as it was 4 years ago... 

this is just a separation, not a break-up.

i wished i had met him a year ago. or two years ago. then we could have made plans together. but the pessismistic side of me thinks it wud hv been better if i never met him. i'd still be the new me - independent, strong and carefree.

like a hermit or an anti-social, i just stayed at home ever since he left. this is probably the longest period of time i have spent at home in...more than a year. hahaha! 

i did cry when he left. and in his house before i gave him and his family a lift to the airport. and another time after he went thru the departure gates. and once more in the airport carpark. another one at the Yacht Club. and the final one of that day, on my bed.

crazy shyt if u ask me. no one has seen me cry. unless u mean, tearing up at the movies.